My OCD

Sorry for being such a lame blogger! But I have been under the weather – boring! And also I have been in the zone with my short film and it’s starting to drive me mental and I’m not even halfway finished! Yikes!

I have OCD. I’ve not been properly diagnosed by a doctor or anything, but I know I have it. I have a friend that had a copy of the medical disorder book the DSM 5, and when he had cocktail parties he’d pull it out and for fun, go around the room and diagnose his guests. One evening it was my turn “Tiffany, you’re totally OCD!” I laughed it off at the time, but he was right. I’m not a neat freak or anything (unfortch!), and I don’t wash my hands constantly or turn the lights on and off. But I do other obsessive things that would drive normal people bonkers.

When I look back I can recall odd things I would do as a child (and still do!). Like when ever I’m on a road trip I count the dashed lines on the highway with my tongue hitting my top teeth. Starting with the left back molars, then left canines, front teeth, then the other side, back and forth over and over,each dashed line.. Ha Ha! I still catch myself doing it! I also hum bars of songs over and over and over. Like there is this classic way to end a 12 bar blues song, an 8 bar ending, and I probably hum it over 1,000 times a day everyday…. Dunno why, but I do. I also have this weird hang up with the mail, like I can’t start my day until it arrives, and when there’s a different postman on with a different schedule, it really throws my life outta whack!

But the most annoying part of my OCD, is my work. I obsess on the lines and shadows when I’m animating. I blow things up 2000 times larger and make sure every line is perfect! Even lines that will never be seen as they are obscured by other objects!! But I will know they aren’t straight and it will drive me nuts. And shadows have to be perfect. Like on the pic above. The Mardi Gras Indians costumes have thousands of pearls, each one is shaded!! But you will never see my hard work, because they are smaller than the head of a pin. I wish I didn’t obsess on these things that will never be seen, but I’m afraid that’s how my brain works. And everything takes me much longer. That’s why I make other things like prints, and plates etc… Because I put so much work into these videos and most of the detail is missed… This current short is driving me up the wall, messing up my eyesight, and emotionally draining me. But at least I know all my lines and shadows will be perfect! Ha Ha! oxo gd

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